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Ayah mengisi suara dan memerintahkan kepada anak-anakku untuk berhenti menangis. "Saya tidak tahu apa yang terjadi di rumah, tetapi saya lelah sekarang," ucapnya. "Berhentilah menunggu ibumu masuk atau keluar dari rumah." I could smell the alcohol from across the room. I was too embarrassed to just grab the kids and leave the house as my mother requested, so I got up from my desk and walked into her bedroom. The room was dark and she was lying across the bed. There was a half-full bottle of vodka on the floor next to the bedside table. I had spent so much time in that bedroom. I had lost my virginity there, to a guy who would rape and beat me for years after he'd gotten me pregnant. And this woman, my mother? She drank while her kids were outside playing in the woods at night. She didn't know anything about what happened to them while we were out, and she didn't care enough to stop drinking long enough to get up and check on them. I took Misha and Malaika by their hands and led them downstairs. The air out there was so cold, so crisp, so unforgiving. It felt like the tundra. The air was sharp, biting against my face. I told them to huddle around me and huddled with them. I don't know how long I stood out there with the wind whipping through my hair and the chill of it affecting my bones, but it must have been a full five minutes before I heard the sound of the front door opening upstairs. "I'm home," my mother said as she walked down the stairs. "Saya tidak tahu apa-apa yang terjadi di rumah sekarang. Beberapa dari kalian lebih baik untuk datang dan temani aku makan siang." Tanpa rasa bersalah ataupun rasa sesal, aku berbalik dan berkata, "Saya akan makan di luar rumah, di mobil." Malaika menjerit. Ia menangis lagi. "Tinggalkan kami, Mama!" gumamnya. "Saya tidak tahu apa yang terjadi di rumah, tetapi saya lelah sekarang," ucapnya. "Berhentilah menunggu ibumu masuk atau keluar dari rumah." Ayah mengisi suara dan memerintahkan kepada anak-anakku untuk berhenti menangis. "Pikirkan ibumu, makanya pikirkan ibumu!" Kami berhenti di mobil dan berkata, "Ibu telah mengatakan untuk makannya. cfa1e77820
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